Please excuse this detour from my regularly running/ yoga/ race related posts while I bring to you this important PSA!
I know I still owe you a recap of the Cape Cod Shark Paddle (*spoiler – we completed the 7 mile paddle!), but I wanted to address some of the reactions I got to paddling in a fundraiser for what many believe is the scariest thing you may encounter on Cape Cod.
There are many scary things on Cape Cod.
Humidity (or at least my hair on humidity).
The lack of central air in many homes (it’s not as scary as it sounds, most of Cape Cod has a nice breeze).
And of course, ending up next to novice beach-goers (in which case you should share “Danielle & Jason’s Guide to Beach Etiquette” with them).
But there is something scarier than any of these things.
Something any local or visitor, is at risk of encountering…
…something scarier than this:
Scarier than a Great White??!
I’m sure by now you’ve figured out I’m talking about…
THE WILD TURKEY!
…or as I like to call them – Turkadactyls!
Apparently turkadactyls are commons sightings across many parts of the country, but round my parts on Long Island we just have raccoons the size of small bears (who I’m pretty sure have developed opposable thumbs since they can jimmy open even the most secure of trash bins)!
Really, that furry little raccoon isn’t scary! He’s actually kidna cute!
Ok, back to turkadactyls.
I am TERRIFIED of crossing paths with these fearsome feathered beasts while out on a run!
Did you know wild turkeys can run 25 miles per hour??! (That means I have A LOT of speed work to do to be able to out run one!)
And as if ONE weren’t bad enough, they travel in packs/flocks/herds (I’m convinced they’re pissed off about the whole Thanksgiving thing)!
And recently my fear of the wild turkadactyl increased about a million times when I was driving home from the grocery store and I saw this:
ON A ROOF!!!
Unlike your common dinner turkey, THESE DAMN THINGS CAN FLY!!!
And upon further research THEY CAN FLY 55 MILES PER HOUR!
So, while many fear the great white shark (and thank you all for your concern for my safety during the shark paddle, but we were in a nice shark-free cove!), I am here to tell you that the most fearsome beast you may encounter on Cape Cod is THE WILD TURKADACTYL! (You’re welcome for the warning.)
*NOTE #1: If this PSA has not convinced you to have a healthy fear of non-Thanksgiving Day turkeys, then go google “turkey attacks”. Guaranteed to scare the heck out of you!
**NOTE #2: I am considering proposing to Discovery that in the wake of the massive success of “Sharknado”, they consider “Turknado” and possibly a “Turkey Week”.
***NOTE #3: All research and turkey facts were taken from the National Wild Turkey Federation website. (Yes, that is a real thing.)